Experiential learning is essentially what you think it is: learning through experience. If you’ve ever taken a hands-on class you’ve participated in experiential learning. The opposite is passive learning where we absorb information that is presented to us. Listening to a lecturer is an example of passive learning. When we engage in experiential learning often we are listening, observing, and actively doing what it is we want to learn about. And this combo can accelerate our understanding and mastery of something new…
…unless the experience is missing one thing and fails to teach us what we want and instead makes us afraid of the thing we’re trying to learn.
Calling the pizza place
As I talk to people about the importance of informational interviews and networking with like-valued people, I sense hesitation. It’s not that I’m hyper-perceptive. People tell me they don’t want to make calls. And when we get down to the cause, more than once it’s been the same.
We were forced to order pizza on the phone when we were kids.
You may think, big deal, right? Well-meaning parents want to make their children comfortable with calling businesses and interacting with people. Turns out that some of us (yep, me too) never achieved to gain confidence through this experiential learning experience. And, it translates into everything from a hesitation to schedule and have a call to flat out refusing to make calls at all.
But experiential learning can work
I’m a member of Toastmasters and experiential learning is at the heart of the education program. People see great improvement in their public speaking and leadership skills through getting up in front of people and speaking. So how is this program successful when the “call to the pizza place” program causes so many issues that stick with people for years?
It’s not sink or swim
Getting thrown in the deep end (of the pool) refers to learning to swim through necessity. You either swim (success!) or sink (um, no learning going on here). Throwing a fellow human into the deep end is what some people think experiential learning is.
The problem is that the result of being thrown into the deep end is not limited to sink or swim. Sometimes people figure out how to doggy paddle and tread water. We are able to breathe, but barely, and we certainly can’t go very far. We survive, but we don’t thrive.
What’s missing
In Toastmasters no member is thrown into the deep end, although I must admit the first time you give a speech it can feel similar. Each new member is assigned a mentor, someone who has some experience in the club who orients the new member, coaches them on their first speech, and encourages. New members observe other members give speeches and lead meetings. The new member sees that the evaluation given after a speech is done in the spirit of genuine care and mutual improvement. The result is confidence in speaking in public is gained with each speech-making experience.
In our “call to the pizza place” scenario, there is no support system. No “mock call” before the first time you are forced asked to order pizza. No practice in what you will be asked and the appropriate responses. My recollection was that because the restaurant answered the phone located between on the edge of the kitchen and the cash register, it was really difficult to hear what they were saying due to a high ambient noise level. Pretty sure the employees answering the phone had said the same thing so many times they unconsciously mumbled their way through the questions.
My “fix” was to just say the same thing to them no matter what they said to me. If they asked what I wanted to order, if I could hold, if they asked for my name first, it didn’t matter. I told them I wanted a medium pepperoni thin crust and a medium sausage thin crust. And I learned to tread water.
Examine your actions
If you have asked anyone to do anything, consider mentoring them before setting them loose on their task. It might only take a few minutes to make sure they know what they are doing. Or, it might take more time to prep them for success. Please don’t throw them into the deep end unless you’ve taught them to swim first. And let them know you are there for them if they have any questions.
What if you find yourself treading water in some way now? That’s a little more difficult. You might find naming your emotion helpful. Or you might be able to find a trusted friend or coach to help you through the experience you are trying to master.
engineer your life
Consider tasks you’ve asked others to do, either at work or at home. Could you encourage others to still learn through experience but be a better mentor or coach?
Is there something you wish you weren’t afraid or hesitant to do? First, know you’re not alone. A trusted friend, coach, or even working through it yourself via techniques like naming your emotions can help you succeed.