A friend tells you they got laid off. You feel for them, but what can you do to help? Often when we’re not sure what to do we don’t do anything because we feel we can’t make things better. I’m here to encourage you! There is something you can do, even if you don’t have any advice to give on finding a job.
2 steps you can do now
Step 1. Be a sincere encourager. This takes no knowledge of how to succeed in job transition. Rather, you’ll need to employ a bit of empathy and a desire to help your friend.
What not to say: “Don’t worry, it will work out fine.”
Don’t worry, they think. Don’t worry? I just lost my job, I have bills to pay, how can I not worry? And how do you know it will work out fine?
Your friend has a point. Hard to tell someone not to worry when their whole world has been turned upside down. Imagine yourself in their shoes. Is this what you need to hear? Saying this invalidates their reaction to the situation.
A better version: “A lot of people find that they end up in an even better position than the one they got laid off from. Keep your chin up!”
In this version you’re serving up hope. And it’s true, at least from the people I’ve met. Many times we end up in positions and situations that are better than the ones we got laid off from. The encouragement about keeping your chin up is a step up as well.
An even better version: “Whatever emotions you feel right now – anger, fear, worry – are OK to be feeling. You’ve been through an abrupt change. Don’t let those emotions get in the way of moving forward (even if moving forward is a little bit at a time). You have value to add and the right role is out there for you.”
In this version your response is empathetic. Anyone who has just lost their job is disoriented, and will feel a lot of different emotions. Acknowledge that. Encouraging movement is super helpful. With movement comes clarity. Talking with people to clarify what role you’re asking for, filling out all the forms, and researching companies are all important steps to take … one at time.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1 🙂
But I’m uncomfortable asking them how they are doing
Asking someone how they are doing is encouragement in itself. “I believe in you enough to see how you’re doing” is a really powerful message. You may be nervous asking the question, “How are you?” You may be thinking, what if they are doing really poorly? What if I don’t know how to help them? What if…
What if your email or call gives them the emotional boost they need to continue moving forward despite the challenges and obstacles?
Take a chance. Reach out and ask how they are doing. Trust yourself. Listening counts for a lot. An “I believe in you” goes a long way. Or simply, “You have unique skills, talents and experience that are needed in the right organization.”
It may be uncomfortable for you, but checking in will mean the world to them.
engineer your life
Trust yourself and be the encourager. Reach out to a friend who has lost their job and check in with them.