Ever have a great idea but not have anyone take it seriously? Or, are you able to influence people but you’re not sure what’s in the secret sauce? We’re taking a look at High Performance Habit #5, Develop Influence, from High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way by Brendon Burchard to answer these questions.

Let’s start with Burchard’s definition of having influence.

“…’having influence’ [is] the ability to shape other people’s beliefs and behaviors as you desire.”

Brendon Burchard, High Performance Habits

This is not manipulation. As you’ll see it’s about being a role model for what behavior or outcome you are influencing. It’s about challenging people to grow into better versions of themselves.

“The people around high performers don’t feel manipulated. They feel trusted and respected and inspired.”

Brendon Burchard, High Performance Habits

So how do we become or continue to be someone who influences and is trustworthy, respected, and inspirational?

Ask

Burchard outlines three basic ideas of being able to influence others. The first is to ask. Simply ask for what you want. According to his research, “people drastically underestimate the willingness of others to engage and help.” This slows people down from asking. People also “overestimate how often or to what degree others will judge them”, and they let fear of judgement also get in their way of asking.

The author notes that in order to know if you have influence you have to ask someone to do something. This could be a co-worker, a friend, a spouse…anyone. He points out that in order for people to become comfortable with your requests, you need to ask and share your ideas frequently.

But it’s not just asking for what you want! Ask people how they are thinking, what they need, and what they are aspiring to. And that brings us to the next basic, give.

Give

High performers, in Burchard’s research, want to help others. Because they’ve asked people around them about their thoughts and feelings, they look for ways to help people in these areas. High performers make suggestions and create connections with others. In almost every situation they enter into, a high performer is looking to add value and help others. This is giving done with no expectation of anything in return. He calls it a “helpfulness bias”.

Be a Champion of People

The third basic of gaining influence is becoming a champion of people. Burchard quotes a 2016 Work and Well-Being Survey conducted by the American Psychological Association that reports “only about half of employed adults in the United States feel valued by their employer and sufficiently rewarded and recognized for their efforts.” Yikes!

Expressing appreciation is a good first step. The second step, according to Burchard, is to become a champion of people. That means, when someone has a good idea, cheer them on. When they do well, praise them publicly. Give them “the autonomy to make important decisions.” He goes on to say that every leader can do a better job in “expressing appreciation and giving people more trust, autonomy, and praise.”

Advanced Strategies

Ask, Give, Be a Champion of People are basic ways to gain influence. Burchard also gives us three advanced strategies. As you read these, think about someone who has influenced you. Do they share these characteristics?

Advanced Strategy 1: Teach People How to Think

A high performer who influences shapes how people think. If you’ve ever said something like, “Think of it this way…” or “What would happen if we tried…” then you’ve engaged in teaching people how to think. This reminds me of how David Marquet uses the Ladder of Leadership to help people to think as a leader thinks.

Burchard reminds leaders that when they communicate to the full team, whether in an all-hands meeting or in a team-wide email, they should include guidance on how team members should be thinking about themselves as contributors, how they should be thinking about their competitors, and how to think about the marketplace.

The author challenges us to think about someone we’d like to influence and have answers to these questions in advance:

  • How do you want them to think about themselves?
  • How do you want them to think about other people?
  • How do you want them to think about the world at large?

Advanced Strategy 2: Challenge People to Grow

Pushing people to continually improve may at first seem confrontational. Burchard makes it clear that this is “not about confrontation, but rather [a] positively framed challenge to motivate others to excel.” High performers like challenge. Low performers perhaps not so much, so they may not be as open to a challenge as the high performer is. There are three areas that Burchard challenges people in.

The first challenge area is challenging people with regards to their character. It’s a call to become better versions of ourselves. It can be a direct challenge (“You can do better”) or an indirect challenge (“How would your best self approach the situation?”).

The second challenge area is improving the way in which we connect with people. The high performer sets high standards for how we treat people and how we add value to others. This is about improving collaboration and unity on a team. The high performer often infuses the word “more” in their challenges, For example, “Give each other more feedback. Show each other more respect.” When you take on the challenge to build better relationships, you’ll experience greater results.

The third challenge area is in the area of contribution. The gist is to challenge people to add more value or be more generous. The high performer will challenge people to add new value. They also challenge individuals with a level of challenge suited just for them. They don’t issue a blanket challenge, but personalize the contribution challenge per person.

Advanced Strategy 3: Role Model the way

High performers, according to Burchard’s research, spend a lot of time (even daily) thinking about how to be a good role model to the people around them. There’s a nuance here in that high performers think about being a role model “specifically in relation to how they are seeking to influence others.” They demonstrate a specific behavior they want others to emulate to achieve a specific result.

tl;dr

Habit 5, Develop Influence, starts with asking for what you want, finding ways to give and add value in almost every situation, and being a champion and cheerleader of people doing good things. To gain even more influence, learn how to teach people how to think about themselves, the people around them and the world at large. Challenge people to grow their character, build better relationships, and add more value. Role model the behaviors and attitudes you want others to demonstrate.

engineer your life

Ask yourself how much you ask for what you want, give and add value to others without expecting anything in return, and show appreciation for others. Can you improve in one of these areas? If yes, how?

Think about someone you would like to influence. Answer the questions from the book before you engage with them:

  • How do you want them to think about themselves?
  • How do you want them to think about other people?
  • How do you want them to think about the world at large?