Spineless turkeys…are yummy. I came to this conclusion several Novembers ago. I usually host Thanksgiving dinner which means I have one time a year to practice making a turkey. You kinda gotta get it right for the holiday that features this bird.

In years past I watched a lot of Food Network and the “on-trend” turkey making technique was a wet salt brine. Soak your defrosted turkey in water + salt + spices + some citrus fruit halves for half a day, rinse it, roast it, eat it. Delicious.

But then. One Thanksgiving wet brining the turkey became passé and dry brining was in vogue. The promise was crispy skin and shorter roasting time.

Intriguing.

But I had a method that worked! Tried and true. I had a rhythm, a system, a process. Even knew where to get food-safe 5-gallon buckets to soak the turkey in (any hardware store, if you’re wondering). The turkey turned out great each time.

Why mess with success.

Fun maybe? To see if I could do it another way? To see if the skin really got crispy and it took less time to cook?

My backup was just eat the side dishes. My guests bring a lot of appetizers and desserts, so between appetizers, sides and dessert no one would go hungry. Sure, I’d have to explain why there was no turkey to put the gravy on, but my guests know I experiment on them (so I’m hoping they’d be understanding).

With a less-than-well-thought-out plan, I decided to go for it. And, for the technique, it was last minute. See, the one Alton Brown recipe I saw demo’d said to leave it in the fridge for 4 days. FOUR DAYS! It’s already Monday the week of Thanksgiving!

I mention my dilemma to a foodie at work. Oh, he says….I have a recipe that only needs to sit in the fridge for a day! Thank you Bon Appetit magazine.

That sealed it.

Cook’s log, Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving. The technique is called spatchcocking, or butterflying. Mind you I don’t know anything about birds. I can’t think of a time I didn’t buy pre-cut up chicken. But…I’ve committed and I have to stay on this course (OK, that’s not true – I could have cooked the turkey like I had in the past or simply roasted it, but I really wanted to see if I could do this).

The directions say to use an electric knife (which I don’t own) or a heavy pair of kitchen shears…check! Flip the bird on its breast (I think I got that right), tail towards you (sigh, don’t panic! You got this.) Then cut up one side of the backbone, turn the bird 180° and cut up the other side.

This. Is. Hard. Directions should have come with advice on improving grip strength in the months leading up to T-day prep. Am I even doing this right? I’m committed now..snip…snip.

After a forearm workout I’m left with a detached backbone and a spineless turkey.

And the whole process is gross.

I don’t hunt, I don’t fish. Shelling and deveining shrimp takes a little mental preparation (and I only get the ones with the heads already removed).

But wait, there’s more!

Flip the bird over and, by pressing down, flatten it “until you hear a crunch.”

Uuuuggggggghhhhhh.

I got as much leverage as I could (tippy toes) and pressed as hard as I could. I think I heard a crunch (I believe the goal is to flatten the breastbone somewhat).

Then you rub the whole turkey in a salt-spice rub and put it in the fridge.

And you know what…

That spineless turkey was yummy!!

The skin was crispy and it did indeed roast faster than having a “spined” turkey.

And, turkey broth made with the backbone (and all the other already detached parts they pack neatly for you) was fantastic.

Here are my takeaways:

  • People with more experience than you can give you good ideas and show you the way. No need to invent everything yourself.
  • Doing something new might be difficult and stressful.
  • It might even be uncomfortable.
  • The results might be delicious!
  • Find an understanding group of people to try it on (and make sure you have lots of desserts on hand).
  • Don’t let success get in your way of trying something new.

tl;dr

  • Don’t be a spineless turkey, prep one for dinner instead 😊
  • Try something new, even if it’s not original. It’s new to you.

engineer your life

  • Identify a spineless turkey experience you have been interested in doing but have been putting off.
  • Do research, prep, and go for it.