Ford, Edison, Firestone – you know the names. Not only were they contemporaries, but they spent time together. Imagine the ideas that were sparked in the minds of these men when they were together. Just as these men no doubt benefited from their time together, we can benefit from spending time with our contemporaries.
There are challenges to becoming part of a community but with some determination and a dose of courage, we can overcome these obstacles and enjoy the benefits.
What is Community?
For our purposes here, being in community is being with one person or several with the mutual intent to share ideas, grow personally, and help others grow as well. A popular marketing term these days for community is “tribe”.
What are Contemporaries?
According to Merriam-Webster, contemporaries are people from the same time period. I’m liking the ring of it, so in this article I will be reviving the word contemporaries 🙂 I’m taking some liberties with the language, and we’ll use it slightly differently. When we talk of contemporaries here we’ll talk about people who would be a good fit to be in community with.
Challenges
For the introvert the prospect of a) being with others and b) sharing personal goals, ideas, and challenges is not a comfortable thought. Just hearing the word “networking” can put us into the stress response.
Another challenge is finding our contemporaries who are open-minded enough to not harshly judge our ideas at first blush and who are capable of encouraging us.
Let’s explore how we can overcome these two challenges, so we can gain the benefits of being in community with our contemporaries.
Going From Not to Want
Way back when, we only had live TV. By that I mean we received television signals over the air or via cable, and we watched one channel at a time. We certainly didn’t have video on-demand. But, we were able to record TV shows via a VCR. The video was recorded onto tape media, and you could watch your recording later.
I had a VCR that had a neat feature. When you played back the video it would look for the black frames indicating the start and end of blocks of commercials. It would automatically fast-forward through the commercials. That was a great feature (maybe not for advertisers, but they have since found other clever ways to get their product in front of us).
When TiVo came out, a DVR, I didn’t see the need for it. Although this may have been due to poor marketing messages on their part, I really couldn’t justify the investment for the stated benefit. However, a friend had one and I got to experience TiVo first hand. Whoa! Pause live TV! I need that! Rewind a few seconds – I need that too! Record more than one show at a time – oh yes, I need that as well! The point is that it wasn’t until I actually experienced the product that I understood the benefits.
Being in a community is the same way. The challenge is that the idea of talking to others about ideas and goals makes us feel uncomfortable. The investment doesn’t seem worth the stated benefits. But once you get with the right group of contemporaries, you’ll find you want to be in community and you’ll actually seek out opportunities to connect.
Finding Contemporaries
Once you’ve decided to try out community, the next challenge is actually finding the right person or group of people to be in community with. You can imagine how counterproductive it would be to surround yourself with a community of naysayers who think small. You can meet contemporaries indirectly or directly, through connectors, at events and gatherings, or by seeking them out.
Connectors
From time-to-time I meet people who are connectors. These are people that once they get to know you and your vision, challenges and/or goals, they have 1 to 3 people in mind that they want to introduce you to. Then they do the work to make the introduction and make the connection.
Connectors tend to connect you with the right people – people you’ll end up wanting to be in community with. This is the connector’s gift, and it’s satisfying for them to share it with you. I suggest you consider the offer of introduction and, more times than not, give it a try.
But How Do You Meet Connectors and Contemporaries?
There are three ways I’ve met connectors and contemporaries.
The first is to attend a group event or organizational meeting. These include conferences, workshops, and trainings. I’ve met connectors and contemporaries at Toastmasters meetings and events, and at Tau Beta Pi events, as well as at one-time conferences and workshops. This has been the most effective method for me to meet contemporaries and connectors.
For this to work for you, you need to strike up conversations with people while at these events and gatherings. Some easy and safe questions are: Where are you from? What are you taking away from the conference so far? Trust yourself that you’ll know when someone might be a person you want to talk to more. If it looks promising, ask if you can connect on LinkedIn or exchange contact information. If this person isn’t quite right to be your contemporary, politely move on.
The second way is to get introduced to potential connectors and contemporaries. This requires you to have connections already – which, you have! Friends, co-workers, relatives, neighbors – they all might know someone you need to connect with. Carefully tell them a little about what you are looking to achieve. If you are bold you could ask them if they know anyone you should connect with to get feedback. I usually don’t do this (maybe to my future’s detriment, I admit). If they are a connector, they will connect you. If they turn out to be a contemporary, then you’ll have a very nice and satisfying conversation. If they are neither, at least you know what to expect.
The third and least effective method I’ve found is to seek out people and connect with them directly. In an effort to build my courage muscles I make it a point to connect with people on LinkedIn after I hear them speak, train, or if I’ve read their book (and liked it). Every now and then I exchange messages with the people I’ve connected with in this manner, but rarely do they connect me with someone else. Our relationship doesn’t usually rise to the level of contemporaries.
tl;dr
Connecting with others, belonging to a community, is vital to being an even more effective Q2 Leader. It’s difficult to understand the value in being in community until you find the right people who encourage and support you. Attend conferences, events, and group activities and scout for contemporaries you can connect with.
engineer your life
- Do you attend any type of group events or meetings? If not, see if there is a meetup or event in your area that you find interesting and attend.
- If you have a close friend or colleague, share a little of your vision or current challenges with them. If they honor, respect, encourage and support you then you have found a contemporary!
- Do you know someone that someone else should know? If you feel confident that it’s a good match, try your hand at connecting these people.